Balancing sanity, insanity and indescribable love.

Sanity, Insanityand an indescribable love

Six short months ago my life was completely different. I was a single person living alone. All I had to remember was to eat when hungry, drink when thirsty, sleep when tired and wash when I smell. As long as I remembered these simple things I would be alright. Life was simple back then I could do what I wanted when I wanted with no one to answer to. I was working and I saw the kids every other weekend. Yep my sanity was intact

Sure I had stuff going on with child services about what was going on with the children. However I still went to work and paid my bills just like everyone else. I also enjoyed spending my weekends in a field in the middle of no where or up a mountain somewhere; as you do. splitting with my fiancée in February, I was just starting to find my feet and get some sort of normality back into my life. However all that was about to change and my sanity tested to the maximum.

on August the 28th 2016 I was just about to start the fortnightly fight with the children about taking them home to their mummy’s house, however on this occasion one of them told me “Please don’t take me back to that place I hate it”. After delving further, I decided I wasn’t going to return them due to safeguarding issues. I will go into that at a later time (it’s drafted but I want to make sure its fair and factual).
To cut a long story short here I am 6 months later and my nice simple life is now a thing of the past. I now have to remember Kieran has PE on a Monday, Lexie has PE on a Tuesday. Kieran has Lego club and needs picking up at a different classroom at 4pm on a Tuesday evening. Lexie has Ukulele class which requires me to pick her up from the other side of the school at the same time.
Sanity 2
Kieran has Swimming on a Wednesday evening. Lexie has PE again on Thursday and Swimming on Friday after school. They get spellings, diary and maths homework everyday and set a project to complete every Wednesday. ThE project deadline is the following Monday. I have to remember Lexie’s best friends are Layla, Mia and Leah. Kieran’s are Cameron, Madison and Charlie. Heaven forbid I muddle that one up.

I have to remember silly things like Lexie wants extra cheese when we have spaghetti Bolognese, Kieran however hates cheese (unless it’s in string form). Kieran likes his eggs soft while Lexie would choose hard-boiled. Do not even think about putting ketchup on Kieran’s chips but I better not forget it on Lexie’s. However this said I make mistakes I lose my shit when they can’t find their school shoes. The kids are often instructed not to take off their jumpers at school because I have not ironed shirts. You better believe they both have polished shoes and clean teeth every morning though.

Sanity 3

all this responsibility for little old me. I am often found rocking in a chair mumbling to myself as I question my sanity. I am someone who once had the nickname Vortex because of my brilliant ability to make things disappear and be forgotten about; Do I miss my old life, running round playing football climbing mountains and living off steak and beer, Nope. Do I have days where I wish I never took custody of the children? again nope. Never, not once have I regretted taking them. In fact my sister Tash at Mummy and moose (Great blog you should read it) once said I remind her of Forrest Gump because some days I literally sit waiting for them to come home from school.

I am no longer working, I have debt up to and above my eyeballs. I don’t have a second to myself when they are not at school and bedtime  is a pain in the arse. Guess what though I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh just read your about me. You currently have it very tough by the sound of it but glad you can see past the sh*t well enough to have started writing this and hopefully by sharing your story you can help other people.
You cannot put a price on happy kids, and I am glad you made the decision to put them first.
Welcome to the blogging world, it gets addictive.


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