My life changed forever since becoming dad to Lexie. I will never forget the day, It was Wednesday 14th November 2007. We had just gone upstairs after yet another night of contractions. This was fast becoming a way of life. We knew we were in for a long night but as my wife climbed the top step she crouched down as her waters broke.
I remember thinking shit is about to get real. I also remember fumbling around for my phone I had to call my sister. she had only last week passed her driving test but I had full faith she would deliver in our time of need. Putting the birthing plan in place I knew I had to stay calm. I ran downstairs and got the baby bag. It was not worth my life to forget that. (I knew it was all there we had packed and unpacked it 3 million times) and within twenty minutes we were on our way to the hospital.
Standing in the delivery room I began to wonder if it was a false alarm. We had been here a few hours and despite my excitement nothing had happened. I still could not believe that the dream I had of becoming a father was about to come true. I was about to become responsible for a human life. After a few more hours the midwife declared “I can see her head”. The euphoria of emotions coursing through my body got the better of me and I burst into tears. More joy, excitement and pride than I could ever imagine came flooding out. Lexie had made her entrance into the world. I looked at her and saw a newborn baby but she wasn’t pink and wrinkly, she was a blue-grey colour. Then something hit me…
There was no signs of life, no gasp, no cry just a deafening silence that filled the room. Time stood still, my heart stopped beating and everything seemed to freeze. I stood waiting for the sound of that first gasp of air. The one I had become accustomed to after watching endless episodes of one born every minute type programs in the hope of becoming a slightly less useless birthing partner. Instead of a cry the room filled with alarms and buzzers and within moments Doctors, Nurses and more midwives raced into the room. one of the doctors cut Lexie’s umbilical cord and they whisked her away without a word spoken.
I don’t know how long the doctors were gone, nor was I aware of what they did. It seemed like a life time that we were in that room waiting for the news we all dreaded. No one muttered a word as silent tears streamed down my cheeks. I tried hard to show strength and reassure my wife that Lexie would be OK and that everything would work out fine. However I knew she wouldn’t buy it for a second we both knew the possible reality we faced. I was completely crumbling. As a real terror started to sweep across me. Ironically all I wanted was my parents. My terror quickly turned to the greatest elation I have ever felt as finally that unmistakable sound filled the air. At first it was a tiny cough and then a cry.
The midwife came rushing back into the room with a crying baby in her arms announcing the fact we had a completely healthy baby girl. She passed our daughter to my wife for their first cuddle. The midwife informed us that Lexie was born with two knots in her umbilical cord and that it was also wrapped around her neck. I will never forget hearing the words “but she is completely fine”
The love I felt when I finally took my turn holding my daughter is beyond comparable to any other feeling and I remember leaning down to give her a kiss. Telling her I will love her unconditionally forever.
Shit I am a dad now…….